I’ve recently just finished school, and I now have the freedom to do whatever I want. I have my whole future ahead of me, except something is lost.
I used to feel excited. I used to look forward to the new life I would lead, full of learning and new beginnings and new people and experiences. I see everyone ahead of me and they’re so happy, and I always thought I’d be like that once the time came. It was that day dream that kept me going.
But something is different now. I’ve made it, but the shiny light I shone on the future isnt as bright as I thought it would be, now that I’m here. It’s just the same. The same confusion, the same hesitation, the same anxieties and the same characters around me. Hell, I’m going to New York tomorrow and I’m not the slightest bit of excited, how can that be?
Somewhere along the way, I lost my sense of humour. I lost my sense of self, I lost my ability to see light in the darkest of places. I can’t find the switch now. Something is lost in me, and I don’t know how to dig it back out again.